In your want to be accepted, do you feel the pressure to change who you are?
Ever tried to change your personality or who you are in general just to mesh in with a group of people? Have you tried to do something impressive, something that you wouldn’t usually do so that you can gain the approval of your peers
My answer to both of those questions is a huge Yes. What about you? I am sure that many of us would say yes to either of those questions as well. The reason why we do this is because we all crave the need to be accepted and wanted by society. This is something that you and I struggle with. This struggle is not just limited to Christians.
Be cautious though, there are dangers trying to fit in
For the sake of example, if someone were to ask me if being friends with a non-Christian an okay thing to do, my answer would be a Yes. I have wonderful people in my life who aren’t Christians. As a Christian, one of the essential things that you need to expose yourself is community and by that I mean Christian community. But that does not mean you should limit your friendships to Christians. It can be a test of your faith to be friends with a non-Christian (on some occasions), but eventually, you’ll be a person with your faith strengthened more than ever.
However one thing you got to keep in mind is that trying to fit yourself into a group of people who share different values and principles can be problem and it can be critical later down the road. For you. When hanging around folk that do not share the same values as you do, you have to be extra careful not to abandon everything that you believe in, even though sometimes you may feel that it is the only option that you have in order to be accepted into that group.
Boundaries are something that we got to keep clear perspective on and in our want to fit in with society around us, we turn a blind eye to it and we make not realize that we stepped out of the line before it is too late. There may be moments where we may be tempted to do things that the Bible explicitly says that isn’t good for our Christian life and our relationship with God, like excessive drinking, drugs, sex (meaningless and sex before marriage) and the like just so that we can get the nod of approval from those around us. Some non-Christians may think this is cool, God doesn’t.
NO! A word that you shouldn’t be afraid to say
In order to take a stand on all that we believe in, we will have to say No.
Now if these friends of yours get all wack when you say No and decide to turn against you and reject you, then are they really your friends? Friends are gifts from God and they are people who live life with us, lifting us up and encouraging us all the way just like we would do for them. So just be yourself and be all you when you are trying to fit in. Life would be much more easier and comfortable rather than trying to pretend to be someone you are not.
Umm Boundaries? How do I go about that?
Well boundaries aren’t the same for all of us and are most likely to be unique depending on the situations that we live life in. However there are some important things that you could think about when you work on setting the boundaries into your life:
- Never try to pretend to be someone else just for the sake of approval. You’ll realize later that it can be super exhausting.
- Never be afraid to say ‘NO’. Take a stand for all that you believe in.
- What ever you say and whatever you do, make sure that you always Honor your Father in Heaven. Remember that we can’t live our life led by our feelings because our lives aren’t about us. It’s about God.
- Remember that God created you with the perfect plan in mind for you. It is unique for you and it is beautiful. Trust in God, place you faith in Him and allow Him to work in your life. You’ll never be disappointed.
- At the end of the day, nothing what others say or think about us matters but what we think about ourselves and most importantly, what God thinks about us. When judgement day comes, your friends aren’t the ones who will decide if you get to be with God or not. So think about it.
Friendships are awesome. So work on the good ones
We all need friendships and I think it is essential for all of us. However, friendships can’t be built upon the foundation of a lie because sooner or later, that foundation will give away and your friendship will meet an irreparable fate. Great friendships are born by being true to ourselves and allowing God to simply pour out of us in everything that we do, from our words to our actions.
Once we have found those friends who accept us for who we are, that’s when the best part begins- fellowship. Fellowship is such a wonderful thing in friendship because it strengthens bonds and gives us this sense of accountability towards each other. This is important for every Christian.
Well then how far is too far?
Well the answer is simple- Not far at all. Sometimes, to be the outsider is the most safest and wisest thing for you to do, even though it may hurt you to see yourself as such. When it comes to acceptance, what should matter is that of God’s. If the whole world accepts us and if God doesn’t, what purpose is there for us in our lives? Nothing!
God does not want us to be more so like the world and have us fit in. What He wants is for us to fit into Him and for us to be more like Him.
I say this every time in most of my writings, but things of this earth are short lived and nothing on this earth lives to exist forever. This is enough reason for us to realize that we shouldn’t let the fear of acceptance and rejection ruin the purpose that God has given to each one of us. The world us such a dark place and darkness is no fun at all. Instead, be the light of the world and shine that light in all the dark places so that people around you may also realize that what really matters is fitting into God and not into society.
This is my prayer for all of you today. God loves you and I love you all too.
+ Jude // quaeriteverum.tumblr.com || Walk the Same